Relationships are sources of joy, happiness, connection, fulfillment, stability and safety, but we hear very often that relationships are complicated and it is true.
Our lives are constantly marked by inner and outer conflicts. It is in our human nature to oppose others, to feel mistreated, prejudiced, discriminated, victims of micro-aggression, to face misunderstandings, lack of communication, frustration and annoyance in our encounters with others.
We can struggle with our family, friends, couple life, school, work, neighborhood, members of our local community, also members of various social, religious and political groups, and they can all leave an impact on us.
Couple relationships can be in particular difficult. They involve love, infatuations, sex, desire, jealousy, betrayal, insecurity, and when the communication is poor and partners carry within them unhealthy patterns of behaviours form their past it can become really hard to manage.
Relationship issues are complex. They cross the border of social norms and indoctrination and involve commitment, responsibility, trust, love, respect, and many other values and expectations that are culturally conditioned and make a conflict resolution difficult.
Some of our conflicts are being dealt with appropriately at the time, but many will remain brushed under the carpet, whilst we are using all sort of defenses and distractions to ease our inner pressure and suffering.
Most times our conflicts are not discussed properly, and the emotions associated with them are not processed fully to ease the distress and preserve our wellbeing.
Left unfinished, they are adding to the weight we carry within our souls and minds, and make our movements through life slower and more painful, regardless if we are aware of it or not.
We all like to feel heard and understood in a relationship, however the fast dynamic of a relationship involves power and control and clashes with the hope for harmony and the history of being in a relationship both partners bring with them.
The most difficult conflict you’ll have to handle will be however your internal life, the relationship you have with yourself. This will define the relationships you develop with others and the world around you.
If you live your life by default and practice little or no awareness, your relationships might be just as troubled as an ocean storm.
There will be times of awakening that will trigger identity confusion and a variety of negative emotions and, as a result of that, you might experience existential questions, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, low sense of self-worth, lack of motivation, procrastination, self-harm, etc.
The myths that “all troubles will be gone tomorrow”, or that “issues resolve by themselves” make the matters worse and add to the consequences you will have to face in the future.
A good way to manage problems in a relationship is to acknowledge those problems and create time and space to sort them out. Don’t forget that at stake is your wellbeing, which is more important than any ego, ambition and principle in life.
To talk about a difficult relationship in your life, email me in strict confidence at: email@example.com, or schedule an initial phone chat: