THE SIGNIFICANT YOU
The Significant You is a practice-informed platform for personal exploration, learning and development.
It aims to bring the focus back to the significant you and shift your understanding of human life from the theories from books and your social conditioning to your living experience, intuition, wisdom & infinite resources to grow.
HOW IT STARTED
Early in her career, Nicoleta, the founder, worked as a clinical psychologist in a palliative care clinic. She quickly noticed that most of her dying patients were voicing out their upsets and regrets for the first time in their lives.
Deeply moved by those experiences, Nicoleta searched to find out what makes us humans move through life with the flow, disconnected from who we really are inside.
Over the years, Nicoleta met in her private, social and professional life a large variety of people across cultures. 9 out of 10 told her they were struggling in at least one aspect of their existence. Only 1 out of 10 took action and spoke to a professional about what was going on in their life.
All these people had in common a genuine desire to be well in life, yet most of them avoided to seek the support of a practitioner.
Some were comfortable in their default functioning and allowed little time and space for personal insight. Others were self-aware that they needed support, but they were too concerned with the stigma associated with mental illness. Only a few used their moments of awakening as starting points towards personal change and growth.
As a passionate wellbeing advocate, Nicoleta searched for avenues to empower people become aware of their inner lives, talk about their experiences, overcome their struggles, fulfill their dreams and aspirations and create lives they really loved living.
In time, Nicoleta learned that most of our struggles are rooted in our programming, in how we learn to function.
HOW OUR DEFAULT FUNCTIONING DEVELOPS
We come on Earth with a blank sheet of life experience.
The family, the school and the systems of this world are molding us throughout life and influence our way of being.
All our beliefs, habits, behaviours, way of thinking, feeling, relating with ourselves and engaging with others and the world around us are instilled in us from the outside.
Some are beneficial to us, but others are not doing us any good. Yet, our programming is very strong and cannot be edited so easily.
Human mind learns to function in a certain way and will continue to run like that by default. But we can take conscious control of your minds and design our own lives the way we want.
You can nurture your mind in the same way you nurture your body and soul and you can practice self-awareness to discover yourself and understand the others and the world around you.
To make the best of your life you can remove those parts of your programming that are not healthy for you, you can let go of anything that is negative and destructive in your life and this way you can create space for better ways of being, aligned to the new you that you are becoming each day.
COMMON ISSUES IN OUR PROGRAMMING
We live in our times
The world around us is shaping us based on the trends in our era. Our Western world places the focus on the material and does not invest in the quality of your relationships.
We think in terms of productivity and efficacy and we dedicate our lives to do efficient and progressive work. There seems to be no time to be in warm and happy interpersonal relationships and we tend to live our lives self-centered, isolated and lonely.
Modern world promotes competition over cooperation and cohesion and it programs us to self-achieve and to prove ourselves continuously, under the “fulfill your potential” promise.
We are surrounded by social injustice, division and wars and we struggle to make sense of how the egalitarian views are clashing with capitalism.
Our digital era has created a parallel artificial world and together with all of the other changes at social, politic and economic levels make our times unsettled, fast-changing and more distressing than ever.
The bad news is that we are all affected by the reality of our world regardless if we become aware of it or not. The good news is that we can take action and we can change how we experience life.
We can choose to continue living in our comfortable default functioning or we can embrace self-awareness, conquer our fear of change, remove our defenses and transform our lives in our own terms.
We want to be perfect
Family, school and the world around us will teach us early in life to be perfect, to compete and win all the time. This can bring extreme pressure in our lives.
Throughout life, we feel scrutinised, we get penalised for our errors and we are expected to enhance our strengths and improve our shortcomings.
There is clear positive and negative reinforcement in all aspects of our lives and that keeps us in an alert mode of functioning, unable to relax, let go and just “be”.
In this space, there is no room for self-care and self-compassion and, sadly, most of us learn about these concepts at adult age.
The fear of not being good enough is constant in our minds and our mood gets easily influenced from one moment to another. It can be very painful to live that way each day, but there is a way out. We can learn to accept our imperfect and unfinished creation and we can permanently transform our lives the way we want.
We do not account for our human nature
In our programming to deliver, achieve and perform we are trained to become perfect human beings and we forget we are evolved animals tormented by drives, instincts and conscious or unconscious desires.
We are told to deny our inner experience and we are expected to control ourselves. The pretense becomes our natural way of being and we lose sense of our authentic self and what is really meaningful to us deep down in our hearts.
Our unstable human nature is polished in sophisticated mindsets and behaviours and we insist on being recognised as unique to the point where we forget how similar we are in our life experience.
Human personality gets understood through standardized tests and not through our human nature. We forget that all people have the good and the evil in them, in the same way they have the beauty and the ugliness, the peace and the conflict, the calmness and the distress, the confidence and the uncertainty, the health and illness, and so on.
We like to follow polarised views and we think in terms of extremes, at times unable to see what is in between. This way we fail to acknowledge that everything comes in a pair in this universe, down to our DNA
We’ve been seduced by the medical model
Our habit to put labels on everything includes our mental functioning as well. We fit it in a set of criteria and since we are programmed to be perfect and excel all the time we cannot afford to acknowledge that our mental activity is fluctuating in an organic way.
Mental health and mental illness do not exist, they are social constructs invented by us, people. Whatever we are experiencing is a natural human manifestation which is oscillating on a continuum of experience between well and unwell.
When we have little understanding of the workings of our mind and we follow various ideas and social swings we are at risk of losing track of who we really are and what is our purpose in life.
This can complicate our lives, but there is a way out. We can choose to simplify our lives if we want to. We can choose to change our default functioning and edit our being to create lives we love living.
Each second is an opportunity to change your life and it is entirely your choice if you want to use it or waste it.
I say: trust yourself and do it. Because you are worthy!
HOW THE SIGNIFICANT YOU DEVELOPED
Inspired by her experience, Nicoleta created this platform for personal exploration, learning & development TO BRING THE FOCUS BACK TO THE SIGNIFICANT YOU.
⇨ To stimulate you create time and space in your life to find out who you really are, who you want to become and how you want to live your life.
⇨ To encourage you shift your understanding of human life from the theories from books and social conditioning to your own dreams and aspirations and your living experience, intuition, wisdom & infinite resources to grow.
⇨ To empower you step out your default functioning and edit your being to create that life you love living.
WHERE IS IT HEADING TO
1. Changing PERCEPTIONS in mental WELLBEING
2. shift focus from individual differences to individual similarities
3. Replace the ‘normal” with “natural’
4. “choose who you want to be” campaign
5. mental wellbeing advocacy around the globe
Nicoleta is now in the process of setting up The Significant You Charity Trust together with a group of trustees/friends who share her passion for wellbeing and wellness, have studies in psychology, sociology and law, and have extensive work experience with various communities in the UK and other European countries.
The Significant You Charity Trust is set to operate for the public benefit and promote wellbeing advocacy through the advancement of education, health, human rights, equality and diversity, and the relief of adult population in need in any part of the world, via public campaigns, alone or in collaboration with other charities and social partners such as governments, private companies, health and care organisations, also via workshops, seminars, conferences, training courses, online resources, telephone and face to face individual and group befriending, and coaching support.
VISION, MISSION, GOALS & VALUES
VISION – We exist to spread goodness and wellbeing in the world
MISSION – We guide people learn about themselves, others and the world, and create lives they love living
Guide people learn to be well in all aspects of their lives
Teach people how the human mind works
Educate people about our human nature
Support people develop a strong sense of self-worth
Guide people connect with who they are and develop into who they want to become
Support people develop positive, inclusive, tolerant and accepting relationships with themselves, others and the world
Support people in need to cope with life difficulties and regain a sense of wellbeing
Passion for life
We live our life with passion and make the best of each day
We live our life with honesty and fairness towards ourselves and the others
We care about ourselves, others and the world
We respect ourselves, others and the world around us
We value equality, similarity and diversity
We connect with our resources and creativity and change the world